Self temptation

Age of sorrow and enlightenment

2010-02-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

Sometime I feel Like -
I'm d sun raising it's light, I'm your hope shining so bright
I'm not a truth but can make things right
if you climb and try to touch the height
you will find my past present and future inside

It's been two long years of my precious part of short life probably where i learned, felt, did things which makes me travel through the untouched pattern of clock raising its two hands towards it and telling me this life can be yours if you choose it for wisely.
staring in lake of truth (mirror) feeling like i became older enough to feel as a boy growing into a man all he desired once.
There is so much to see -read -feel -enjoy ... feeling my life is so tiny but so important gift given to me.

Being alone in this place - it's not the only situation when a person floats in the river of it's thoughts calling the only identity there a divine or pure sole walking through the deeds of past to the doorway way of future.
Being quiet is not the only conscious of having darkness inside your temple of knowledge - The everlasting time and unbounded situations sometimes makes us to kneel down and compromise on our true nature which we carry from birth till our death or shall i say a new beginning of our free sole.

Its me back on another track

2009-05-23T06:36:00.000-07:00

hey its evening in Bengaloruuuuu around 7:08 i can smell freshness in air and smoothness in soil
its been a long time since i have not in touch with snapshot of life within the blogs usually i don't write things but i can tell one thing i can write (bull%^$ i know) :)

Ok so from today onwards i will put the things whatever i experience or feel (not on daily basis)

1)Morning gone office at 4:45 am bloody 1st shift yawnnnnn
2)spoke to the dear one u know to avoid today's fight heheehe
3)came back at 4 noon had lunch and watched 27 weddings cool movie
about a girl who's with some event management agency and completed her 27th client (marriage arrangement) her sis suppose to get arranged by a man she thinks she loved but here is a twist one well famed reporter wanted to write report on her "what a gal thinks about her own wedding and whats about her inside out" in the end reporter is the hero and blah blah blah blah

now today is also sid bday he coming now so i have to go up up and away

Butterfly is mine

2008-01-10T07:04:00.000-08:00

look at this butterfly how it shines
and stretch her wings try to fly
sky is above when she realise , she rise
you feel the same when you are high and look into her eyes.

looking up i say this star is going to be mine
and want this sun cooldown to keep it inside
I found this universe hollow and dark outside
heyyyy do you feel the same inside or i just got hypnotized
and look at thiss buterfly it shining bright...

I run from past and sweat my present alot
I only look for the chances to touch your face a lot
once again i am happy to see someone now, you make me happy
suddenly its raining, as my heartbeat rise and i can feel alive.
yeahhhhh look at this butterfly its flying high....

It begins again,

2007-11-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

can't stop dreaming in these eyes
can't stop thinking in my mind
can't stop breathing as it rise
its in my life, i just realise

and she walks and laugh with me around
she hits me and laugh on it everytime
i felt better and stronger wen she is around
and it begin again can't stop the things going around

can't feel like talking without her
can't feel like walking without her
can't feel like flying witout wings
is that how the things go wen heart swings

and believe she do something wen she's around
i am trying to figure it out keepin my head down
heart want to see you evrytim but mind keeping me down
and it begin again yeahhh can't stop the things going around

Warmth in this night

2007-09-08T04:36:00.000-07:00

looking upto the sky
army of bright little angels and darkness alive

Iam caught between the two nature of mine
like a centaur in human body and a horse spine.

a long day to start from scratch
heaaii sun swollow this night

i see her as in my future
but what if the future is all in her hand

I wait for u no matter wat
someone inside still calls u tonight

ek falsaffa tha jo choo ke guzaar gaya
ek nazar thii jo hamare chehre pe na ruk sakii

dost tu aisa mera jiskoo maine pyaar kiyaa
iss jahan mai azziz koi nai tera jitnaa mere jiyaa

koshish karunga teri tasveer koo apne aaiene mai basane ki
koshish karunga apnee dard ko hassi mai dabane kii

intezaar karunga tera zindaggi bharr, apne dill mein betha ke
pyaar karunga tughse ummar bharr, tughko naa bata ke

pyaar ka ehsaas ek baar nahiii hotta hai
iska matlab ye nahii ki pyaar bar bar hota hai
magar ye sach hai ki tumse pyaar har bar hota hai

2007-07-21T12:07:00.001-07:00

Everyday my mind keeps falling
and they say im kid whos rolling
I carry deceiving face to hide myself

dnt know why, dnt know where it takin me
i am not afraid of cry but its digging mee inside
i have soo much to shout but im keeping it inside

Now i taste the salt, when sweets allaround
and you get hurt, when love is allaround
you look for shoulders,but nobody is around

you learn not to cry on past, when u kno its not gonna last
you can't be in future for ur sorrow, bt kno she is ur tommorow

evryday mah mind keeps falling
theyy sayy im kid whosee rollllllllllling
and i kno its not trueeeeee cozz its mee nott uuuuuu

Days are confusing for mee

2007-07-09T01:49:00.000-07:00

Eyes r fading, darkness allarond
wish dat i can move nd mah legs r tied down
these days made me older without you baby
somebody made me older baby

I become a fading star, across this universe
I left myself far behind, life is pierced
these days made me older without u baby
somebody made me older baby

I dont kno what is fighting inside me, breaking inside
but the time keeps rolling dreaming you all time
and these days made me older without uuuuuuuuuu
somebody make me older babyyy and its uuuuuuuu

NIXXX first song

2007-06-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

remember the time we met
remember the time we sat
every second i am missing
everyday i m fading

yaa this is; this is sweet pain
never felt before in my veins--
yaa this is; this is sweet pain

i wanted to free from everything
i wanted to smile and cry again
i wanted to stare those eyes again

yaa this is; this is colour of life
never wanted to flyy soo much highh
yaa this is; this is colour of life

she paint my life in surpriseeeeeeeee

remember the time we sat.............

slide yourself through the time

2007-06-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

I will never forget the days we once had
The days when you were every thing to me
my mind used to tell me you we will be like this together forever
but now realize it was all an open eye big dream
the feeling i am having for you can never go
i wish god didn't showed me the day when we met
my life was so perfect i was so free with me and others
i don't know why but i care for myself and you, and others now
i wish i could change the time and take back the day when we were together
i miss your smile your fight your everything your smell your presence
I sometimes wonder you still think of me or am i another face in crowd for you
i wish so very much we will be meeting someday and have that time back again
then and that time i will give everything of mine to make you feel every moment of time
But till then i will make my self more strong and sit here silently and wait
remembering all memories once we shared my feeling for you getting more strong
hoping one day you will feel the same not necessary for me can be someone else
i will pray for you the same won't happen to you becoz it pain a lot and when you care for someone you don't want them in pain.
I won't allow my heart to seek for someone else but i won't cry also i will make my self more strong and bigger than body so that i will run away from my pain.

Sweet pain of your missing smile

2007-05-22T05:54:00.000-07:00

Its been soo long since we haven't talk
i can't just forget and let your thoughts goo
what can i do to make you love me
what can i do to make you feel this
what will i say so you won't hurt

I haven't slept all this week, the things are crawling in my mind
the pain is etching in my body
what can i do to make you happy
what can i do to give you my life
what will i do to spend my whole life for you

No more wondering no more floating in thoughts of dust
i'll always wait for chance to be with you

2007-05-20T02:27:00.000-07:00

I think I love you,
But I don't know how and why.
Maybe because it seems every time we say hello,
Someone says goodbye.
Maybe I'm lost without you,
But I don't know how and why.

There was always a Time wen i felt i just see you as a friend
But I don't know how.
I think I love you.
Is it possible?
That your smile could be caused
By my own broken grin?
Do you love me too?
Or was I just a phase?
Invincible. Free. Alive.
That's what I wish I was.
But I think I love you,
And I don't know how and why.

I remember everything you ever said to me.
I remember it all. Sweet dreams and good nights.
I miss happiness. but you don't seems like?
It was sweet, gentle, kind.
Like you, I guess.

But I think I love you
Yet I don't know how and why.
Maybe I never knew I was living one big lie.
Protect me? As you wish.
Fight me? I'd like to see you try.
But I think I love you,
Yet I don't know how and why.

2007-05-20T02:22:00.000-07:00

what if I hadnt changed
what if hadnt fallen in love with you
what if I hadnt met you
what if I hadnt spoken to you
what if I hadnt gone to that outing with u guys
what if I hadnt picked that converstaion
what if I had just trusted myself
what if you could love me
what if you never did
what if you're my soul mate
what if I never get you back
I never fall for anyone else
what if I had tried harder
what if I had chased you when we were far
what if I had just missed you when I saw you
what if I had just admitted I still loved you

well what if I just moved on
what if I stopped thinking about the "what ifs"
BUT these questions make me feel strong about you

The only time I fall

2007-05-20T02:14:00.001-07:00

I’ll glance across the Hall,
Through a crowd of a hundred people,
And Lock my eyes onto u,
Watching your every move.
Noticing u not watching,
just desire to spend a minute with u,
And just wrap my heart around u.
Swaying back and fourth,
The music plays slowly in the soft background.
There might be over a hundred people around us,
But in my eyes,
It’s only you .
So hold me close,
Look into my eyes,
Meet your soft, comforting lips with mine,
And fade into a world,
Where it’s only you and me.

wallpapers im having

2006-11-26T10:56:00.000-08:00

De rien[You are Welcome]

2006-10-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

Beneath the sea of clouds and the plate of sky when you see it, then you feel it
sun shine like blessing its half pain on you

your driving your way cutting through the blade of air thinking about every why? you can get in your mind and you mind is like gunning into a dungeons of dark cloud of questions of your existence.

have I ever be able to get my true friend
have i ever be able to find someone on whom i can trust like i trust my family
Is anyone there who can rely on me with evry breath of life like a blind person have a faith on his stick and and his assuming skills may be not may be i 'll not be able to find that someone but its not that i will stop seeking for that one i lead my life as normal civilians doo but i will never give it up on my feelings and belief on my self. one person and time can change you a lot and can break you apart.